Celebrity Mom

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Being a mom is so easy, even Kim Kardashian can do it!

And as we’ve all seen from the paragons of parenting pictured above, it’s not only easy to be a mom; it’s easy to be a mom and have a successful career and a dazzling social life and a fabulous face and figure!

C’mon, ladies. It’s simple. In fact, here are a few tips from the Gooptress herself to help you along, if you’re slightly befuddled.

And stay tuned for future how-to-mother-with-grace-and-style-and-a-stiff-upper-lip updates from none other than the Duchess herself.

If you find you haven’t bounced back to your pre-baby weight (15 years later), your child isn’t fluent in at least three languages, and you don’t discuss the rewards of motherhood reverentially and eloquently on a daily basis….well, clearly, you’re doing it wrong.

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Celebrity Mom

Of course motherhood

is heaven

when you’ve a staff

of eleven.

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©2013 Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz

A Limerick A Day – Day 6 – Happy Bump Day

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Is she or isn’t she?

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Was she or wasn’t she?

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THANK HEAVENS she finally is. (So that this could happen.)

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Ummm…no comment.

The cult of celebrity moms has grown to rather an insane level, if you ask me. I’m all for celebrating the sweet, sweet experience that is motherhood, sure. But not to the point of obsession, especially when it comes to the reproduction of the rich and famous. These days, their pregnancies — or, more specifically, their “baby bumps” — take on lives of their own as fashion accessories, PR generators and career builders.

Looking at the bright side, at least being “P.G.” (as they used to say in the darker ages) is no longer something to be kept under wraps, concealed in all manner of maternity fashions.

I guess we’ve come a long way, baby.

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Happy Bump Day

When pregnant moms’ bellies get plump,
We now call this big lump a “bump.”
Which, I have to divulge,
Sounds far better than “bulge,”
“Protrusion,” “distention” or “hump.”

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©2013 Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz

A Limerick a Day – Day 4 – If the Shoe Doesn’t Fit…

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I’m pretty sure this won’t be news to any moms out there, but scientists have now confirmed that a woman’s feet grow larger as a result of pregnancy.

It appears that fallen arches and a higher risk of arthritis are also unfortunate byproducts of carrying our beautiful bundles o’ joy.

Rather than dwell on these things, though, I prefer to embrace the silver lining…

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If the Shoe Doesn’t Fit…

Sure, moms’ bodies endure some abuse,
But you won’t hear us singing the blues.

Not at all—let feet grow
With the rest, head to toe –
Just another excuse for new shoes!

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©2013 Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz