How This Cookie Crumbles

cookies ©2010 CEStankiewicz all rights reservedI’m the proud mom of a 10-year-old Girl Scout…who’s down to the last few days of Girl Scout cookie sales…who went to a Girl Scout troop sleepover at our local children’s museum…who left me at home last night with the remnants of her inventory…who now has six five boxes of Lemonades and two one boxes of Thin Mints to sell by Sunday…

PLEASE.

BUY THEM.

BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE

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How the Cookie Crumbles

All these Trefoils,
Samoas,
Peanut Butter Patties,
Lemonades,
and Thin Mints
have made us quite the fatties.

My living room is chock full
of cookies
not yet bought;

To my little Girl Scout daughter
I must say:
Thanks-A-Lot.

©2010 Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz

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The Art of Persuasion

Why didn’t anyone tell me that MONSTERS EAT WHINY CHILDREN, as this soon-to-be-published book contends?

I could have used this information to great advantage a few short years ago. At the time, my daughters were just winning acclaim as world-class whiners, with no small amount of unintentional support from me. (See poem below.) Had I been informed of monsters’ dietary proclivity, I could have passed this tidbit along to my little tidbits.

It could have saved me a lot of angst. Not to mention a lot of money.

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The Art of Persuasion

You can flatter me with niceties
Until my ears turn numb;
You can threaten me with misery
And yet I won’t succumb.

You can tie me up and tickle me
From end to giggling end;
Deprive me of all chocolate,
And still I will not bend.

For if you really want something,
And I answer firmly, “No.”
Well then, my dear, you heard it here:
A whine’s the way to go.

Now, whimpering won’t do it,
Nor a mere plaintive cry,
You must surround me with a sound
That reaches to the sky.

The higher-pitched, the better;
Yes, make it long and LOUD—
And I must say, you’ll get your way
If you can draw a crowd.

(Oh, I know I shouldn’t give in,
The experts make that clear;
But could they ignore this child of four
Whose pleas assault my ear?)

Indeed, my sweet, Lord only knows
What riches you’ll attain,
Depending on how lengthy
Of a yell you can sustain.

I won’t resist if you’ll desist
From that sound that you are making:
Candy? Cookies? DVDs?
They’re all yours for the taking.

©2009 Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz

Living Dangerously

Until they can fend for themselves, our darling babes need parental protection from the many potential hazards in their world:

Household chemicals. Harmful foods. Power tools. Poor wardrobe choices.

A trend toward overprotective parenting has given rise to a cottage industry of childproofing gadgets, and now, consultants – some of whom feel no shame at charging $300 and up for a home visit, as this New York Times article recently reported.

Now, I installed my fair share of outlet plugs and cabinet locks when my girls were younger, but had to draw the line at anti-bacterial placemats and shopping cart covers. There’s safety, and then there’s overkill.

Besides, babies seemed to do just fine before the invention of the toilet lid lock. Amazing, but true.

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Living Dangerously

No kid-safe doors, no childproof locks,
No choke-free toys or rounded blocks;
No outlet plugs, no safety seats,
No hormone-free milk or meats.

No anti-microbe soaps and sprays,
No wipes to swipe the germs away;
No safety cribs, no child restraints,
No homes aglow in lead-free paints.

No smoke-free restaurants or flights,
No fat-free, sugar-free delights;
No kneepads with our tricycles,
No helmets with our bicycles.

No sunscreen on those summer days,
No SPF to block the rays;
No V-chip guarding our TVs,
No censors guiding what we’d see.

Seems we grew up just tempting fate,
With perils lying close in wait;
Thank goodness there’s such caution now!
Though we survived……I wonder how?

©2009 Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz