I can bring home the bacon. Fry it up in a pan. And never, never, never let you forget you’re a man! ‘Cause I’m a woman!

I know the words from the Anjolie perfume commercial by heart. I had them drilled into my head growing up in the 70’s.

When that ad was popular, women had already come a long way, baby. Thirty-some years later, on International Women’s Day, we recognize that we’ve come even further.

However, as a woman – specifically a mom — there’s a certain ideal I feel compelled to live up to. Society puts it out there, of course, but I can take responsiblity for it, too. I hold myself up to this crazy and often impossible standard when it comes to being a mother, a writer, an employee, a homemaker, a friend and a lover. Even a few minutes spent with today’s Oscars red carpet pics delivers plenty of evidence of moms who feel the need to alter their bodies to uphold our society’s standards of beauty. And moms who don’t.

But damn, we’re not perfect, and we’ll drive ourselves crazy striving to be. So today, I’m not frying up any bacon or spraying about anything but Eau de Lysol. I’m getting take out and serving it up in a lovely ensemble of sweatpants and t-shirt.

‘Cause I’m a woman.

.

SuperMom, SchmuperMom

SuperMom, SchmuperMom.

More like…In-A-Stupor Mom.

Sick-and-Tired-of-Poop-er Mom.

Oh @#%! Another Blooper Mom.

Fevers-Colds-and-Croup-er Mom.

Runny-Nose-with-Goop-er Mom.

Pass-the-Chicken-Soup-er Mom.

Late-For-Our-Playgroup-er Mom.

Stay-at-Home/Commuter Mom.

Bargain-Hunting-Two-Fer Mom.

I’m-Tired-of-Being-A-Trouper Mom.

Bit-Off-More-Than-I-Could-Chew-per Mom

Life’s-Thrown-Me-For-A-Loop-er Mom.

I-Nursed-So-Now-They-Droop-er Mom.

SuperMom? SchmuperMom.

© 2009 Carlotta Stankiewicz