Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s done this, this time of year…
BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS
A spinach/egg white omelet
beats a plate of eggs and bacon.
If a healthy breakfast’s what you want,
that’s what you should be makin.’
This morning, though, I’m going for broke —
so here’s the meal I’ve chosen:
A dozen yummy Thin Mints,
©2015 Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz
Yep, it exists. And World Breastfeeding Week 2014 takes place this week — August 1 – 7.
I’m happy to do my part by sharing a special subcategory of humorous verse the likes of which Ogden Nash and Dorothy Parker never conceived: breastfeeding limericks. Yep, they’re a thing — at least as far as I and this blogger are concerned.
And in honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I’d like to milk them for all their worth.
THE BENEFITS OF BREASTFEEDING
Although many new moms may contest
either viewpoint re: “Bottle or Breast?”
most new dads will attest
that a milk-enhanced chest
leaves no question: Indeed, breast is best.
THE LAMENT OF THE POSTPARTUM EXECUTIVE
As through my career I progressed,
quite often I’d dress to impress;
but of late it’s my fate
(because now I lactate)
that these days I just dress to express.
After hours at a pump that’s been plying
liquid gold from them, there’s no denying
moms of lactating ilk
know there’s one kind of milk
that – when spilt – fully justifies crying.
When for breastfeeding needs you’re equipping,
there’re a few things you shouldn’t be skipping,
like soft nursing pads —
be sure you’ve got scads
of them, ready to hide any dripping.
Best of all, when it’s time to resign
nursing duties, these pads’ smart design
means you don’t have to lose ‘em
because you can use ‘em
as coasters for under your wine.
©2014 Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz